EARLY SUMMER THOUGHTS
I've been dealing with a bad back lately. People give advice, and I know there are ways to get it fixed. I am however not comfortable with Chiropractic adjustments, and I don't think doctors will heal me either. Of the many issues I have, this one is possibly going to be the one that crushes my will and spirit.
People often inquire if I am still depressed. I am not. I am, however, aware of my sins, flaws, and fears, so the future does seem scary.
I have four books in various stages of completion. When these books are done I might well stop writing for print. It costs too much in terms of my health and soul to keep writing 80 hours a week. I am not going to ever stop writing poetry.
I've recently received a great many emails. It isn't that I am not grateful to be thought of, or considered a source for answers, but a number of the emails were not kind, or gentle. They were accusatory. Here are some of the snippets.
"Christianity is stupid, and so are you"
Thanks for that. If I am stupid I guess I can't respond. I am not offended by much, and I am ok with different ideas. I have many Atheist friends, people from Islam, people from Buddhism, people from Hindu beliefs. I am not an universalist. I am not sure, however, of the cosmic forces that people become aware of. I believe in Jesus. I accept that others do not.
"You are an ugly pussy. Go back to your fag kingdom."
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so if you find me ugly I concede you are right. I'll remember it next time I look in the mirror. Ugly doesn't hurt my feelings. And frankly, enough people disagree that that I am ok with the odd person thinking otherwise.
"You deserved cancer"
How very generous. I have received many emails from this person, none are reprintable, because they are all at this level of conversation. No one deserves a disease.
"You are a shitty poet"
Again, just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is taste a thing that is unable, usually, to be separated from the holder of said taste. If I am a shitty poet, I still need to be what I am.
If in doubt check this out ------> LINK TO MY SHITTY POETRY
Check this out too------------> LINK TO MY PUBLISHED WORKS
Je ne regrette pas la douleur, car il m'a fait plus forte
I have indeed suffered recently, but it allowed me to see the gifts others gave to me with a grateful heart, and hope. I am not a emotion whore, but to others it seems so. It is about the way humans feel about emotions. I am not ashamed of mine.