Friday, September 11, 2015

Falling, But Maybe it is Worth it.

“Sometimes even to live is an act of courage."   Seneca

I am alive, and I wish to fly.  You might think that the Ness guy is going off on another bender, or is again proving he is insane.  But no, that isn't the case.  I am simply saying that life without risk is not life, and that while I've failed many times, I am not going to stop, and I am going to go forward again.  Life is a choice, I wish to fly.  I say this because I truly intend to make the next decade worth having survived those things that sorrowed my life.  I choose therefore to not only endure and survive, but to take these things and use them to help me thrive.

I have not the money to buy my success.  I have not the fame to arrange for my success by means of popular support.  But, I do have a talent, it is called perseverance.  I write 60-80 hours a week.  I've done this regardless of my health.  When I had cancer I still did this.  It is part of my world to write.   It is my calling, however flawed.

Without a cause rebellion is worthless, but with a cause, a person can endure anything.  Icarus was meant for greater things than simply flying away from incarceration.  He was given wings and his father gave him instructions, but once free, he felt alive for the first time, and nearly reached the sun.  To be alive and so free, dying was a small consequence. I point this out because there are points upon a timeline, or life map where if you had simply been given wings you'd have taken them and flown from your station.

I am alive.  I am not insane.  I wish to fly, whatever the consequences.

"How much do you know?" she said. "Do you know that dreams are illusion?"
"Of course I do," I said. "Every one knows that."
"Oh no they don't," she said, "the mad don't know it."
"That is true," I said.
"And do you know," she said, "that Life is illusion?" 

Lord Dunsany

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