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Sunday, March 15, 2015

Why Catastrophic Memories? Soldiering Forward


“Dripping water hollows out stone, not through force but through persistence.” OVID
 
A poet writes from his soul, therefore, he draws upon memories, ideas, knowledge and experience.

He uses his emotional IQ to pour fire into his work.  So, since I have PTSD, I can write about feelings of terror, loneliness, pain, fear without lying or exaggeration.  Since I've been broken hearted in love, I can speak to the sorrow and grieving in my soul of being rejected, and forgotten, being ignored, or being wounded.  Some people call poets people who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder for the pleasure of others.  I disagree, but, I can see how speaking from our soul to reflect our pain, our joy, our ideas, our desire can seem as if all we care about is our own life.  I can assure you that I care about far more than my own life.

In fact, the catastrophe in many ways of my life, is that no matter how much I realize I cannot change certain events, I feel sorrow and grieve for the truth of their continued existence and devastating impact.  I grow dark moods and feel paralyzed by them.  For me life has a cost, and life itself has harrowed my soul.

Therefore, when asked about the title of this blog, it is meant to reflect the fact that poets draw from a well of hurt, to share wisdom with others, so that people in the future, and present can know the truth, and grow from it.  Truth shared means, we do not need to be burned by the same fire that burned one to know that it will kill all.

Strangely now, after having written all that, I am not depressed, intellectually.  I am struggling in life with a number of issues, including a new brain disorder that is quite difficult to deal with, but, I believe in the joy of the labor in the service of my King, and that the labor itself is good.  I also believe that my labor will help bring a harvest of and reward of good for the kingdom.  When you plant seeds of righteousness, good things result.  I intend that as my path.  I am no saint, I am not anything like perfect, nearly perfect, great, good, or OK.  I am a mess.  But I will soldier on.  I have to, it is all I can do.

Thanks if you read this far.  People reading my work is my reward.

“If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!”

Rudyard Kipling

2 comments:

  1. I love this post and your blog is great!! You are a very talented writer! You put your words together so beautifully! We should be blogger buddies! :) If you have time I would appreciate it if you would check out my blog and leave me a comment on a post you like! Keep up the great work! :) <3
    XoXo- Wanderlust

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you very much.

      You have a number of interesting blogs, and I did comment on a post.

      Delete